


Tell Me What You Need

by dreamsintechnicolor



Series: Certified Emotional Support Boy [1]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Catharsis, Chaotic Maknae Line, Crying, Fluffy Ending, Gen, Sad Choi Soobin, Soft Choi Yeonjun, Yeonbin can be read as platonic, if you really really want that, soobin needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 08:15:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsintechnicolor/pseuds/dreamsintechnicolor
Summary: Soobin falls apart as the stress of their debut weighs on him, but Yeonjun is there to hold him together.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Series: Certified Emotional Support Boy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2008900
Comments: 2
Kudos: 118





	Tell Me What You Need

**Author's Note:**

> This is fluffy as fuck, featuring Soobin's insecurities and Yeonjun who just wants him to be okay. I'm seriously considering writing a follow up to this that has actual romantic Yeonbin, so let me know if you want that I guess.

Yeonjun had spent four years as a trainee and had watched his fair share of trainees come and go. Some were too soft, some not disciplined enough, some were injured, and some just left with no explanation and never came back. Having finally gotten the lineup for the latest group they were supposed to be forming, Yeonjun sighed. He knew the other boys—BigHit wasn’t a huge company and most of the trainees were at least friendly with one another.

The younger three were tiny and cute, with their sweet faces and the excitement that training had yet to drain out of them. For their sake, he hoped the group would succeed before they lost all that energy.

The fourth boy was what worried Yeonjun. Tall and handsome were good things to be as the leader of an idol group but from what Yeonjun could tell, Soobin didn’t have any of Kim Namjoon’s brilliance or Im Jaebum’s determination or Kim Hongjoong’s discipline. He was soft spoken and sweet, shy around new people and easy to embarrass and Yeonjun wasn’t sure if Bang PD was making the right decision with that. Be that as it may, it wasn’t Yeonjun’s place to question the lineup, so he put the worry out of his mind and threw himself into training.

To Yeonjun’s immense relief, Soobin grew into his leader role well and TXT debuted with record breaking success. When the time came for the actual debut stage, Yeonjun sought out Soobin and reached out to rub one of his ears, a habit he had picked up a few months before.

“Are you ready?” he asked and Soobin turned to face him with a grin.

“Of course, this is what we’ve been waiting for,” he laughed. “Are you ready, Yeonjunnie?”

“Of course,” he said back, patting Soobin on the back. 

Both of them were nervous and Yeonjun knew it. He felt a little like he was going to throw up and honestly the only thing that was stopping him was the thought of how angry the stylist noonas would be if he got puke on his white jeans. Soobin had been fidgeting since they’d arrived, scratching and rubbing at his thighs and running his fingers through his hair until Taehyun reminded him not to mess it up, and Yeonjun wanted to offer some kind of comfort but if Soobin was planning to fake it until the stage was over, he wasn’t going to break him out of that. Confidence was confidence after all, and he didn’t want to mess up whatever was driving Soobin.

Instead, he stuck close to his leader until it was time to go on and then he threw himself into the performance and performed like he’d never performed before. As they moved from stage to stage, more mistakes kept happening and he could feel the frustration mounting in all of the members. Hearing Soobin softly tell the camera that he was disappointed in himself and would work harder to do better broke his heart a little and he wondered if maybe debuting so soon was a mistake.

Monitoring the performance later on camera brought back the feeling of disappointment and Yeonjun felt the familiar block in his throat that normally only came in the early hours in the morning when he was missing home or wondering if giving up his whole life to be a trainee was a mistake. He turned his eyes toward the ceiling, looking for something, anything to distract him, but there was no stopping the tears. They welled up in his eyes and Taehyun noticed them before he could hide them. He tried to get them under control as the younger members turned away, Soobin smiling at him and clapping him on the shoulder. A moment later, Soobin gave up and turned away as well to hide his own tears.

Yeonjun and the others rallied around their leader, trying to cheer him up as they left the set. He calmed down a little, still hiding as Beomgyu and Hyuka distracted the camera, but Yeonjun stuck close in case he needed someone. Not surprisingly, the tears started up again before long. They kept flowing until the five of them returned to the dorm and Soobin called on his leader privilege to lock himself in the bathroom. The younger three immediately turned to Yeonjun, looking worried.

“Is Soobin hyung going to be okay?” Hyuka asked, his eyes glistening with tears for the first time that day.

“Yeah, is he?” Beomgyu added with a desperate note in his voice. 

“Of course he is,” Yeonjun assured them, hoping he wasn’t lying through his teeth. “Binnie is strong, he’s just tired and stressed, okay? He’s our leader, he does everything we do plus deals with Bang PD and handles all the leader stuff, right? So he just needs a little bit to calm down. Why don’t you guys go change out of your nice clothes and we can watch a movie or something.”

“Did we really do that bad?” Taehyun asked as the other two wandered off towards the bedroom.

“No, Taehyunnie,” he sighed. “We did fine. There were some mistakes and it could have gone better, but that’s not why he’s upset. I promise, things are going to be okay. Now, go on. Change your clothes and give me a few minutes to talk to Soobin.”

Taehyun followed the others, still looking dejected, and Yeonjun knocked softly on the bathroom door. The shower wasn’t running yet so he turned the handle and peaked inside. Soobin was on the floor, his back to the tub and crying into his hands. Yeonjun slipped inside and closed the door behind him, actually locking it this time before kneeling carefully in front of his leader.

“Binnie, come on,” he said softly, “please stop crying.”

To his shock, Soobin’s cries became louder and he hunched in on himself. Alarmed, Yeonjun reached forward and brought Soobin into his arms, cradling the taller boy and letting him cry into his shoulder. They stayed like that long enough for his legs to start cramping before he tried again.

“Come on Binnie, the maknaes think the world is ending because their all-powerful leader can’t stop crying,” he teased gently. “If you don’t stop soon the whole dorm is going to dissolve into chaos. I think Beomgyu is already plotting how to burn the building down without losing any of his clothes.”

That earned a sniffly little laugh but not much else.

“Talk to me, okay? Tell me what you need,” Yeonjun urged, and that was what it took. Soobin went very still for a moment and then the sobbing picked up again but at least this time he was trying to talk through it.

“I’m a horrible leader,” he wailed, “I can’t even get through one stage without messing up and I’m supposed to be in charge! I know Bang PD is going to be upset about all the mistakes and I know I’m supposed to be on top of all this because I’m the leader, but I can’t! I can’t! If he yells at me I’m going to break down in the middle of the meeting and cry and he’s going to kick me out and you guys are going to have to redo all the choreography for just four people and relearn everything and it’s going to be a mess and Beomgyu is going to burn down the building and Taehyun is going to try to bring Aengdu into the dorm and there’s not going to be anyone from stopping Kai from watching horror movies until he has nightmares—”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Yeonjun interrupted, shocked. “Soobin, you’re not going to get kicked out of the company!”

“I am!”

“Hey,” he said, and this time his stern tone was enough to make Soobin pause and listen. “You aren’t going to get kicked out. Our stage wasn’t that bad and even if it was, we still broke records before the video was even posted. BigHit can’t afford to take us off the market now. We are TXT, all five of us, and we aren’t going to let Bang PD take our leader away. You’re a great leader, Soobin. We love you and we aren’t going to let him take you from us, okay? Do you understand?”

“How can you say that?” the younger boy sniffled. “I’m a terrible leader…”

“Why do you think you’re a terrible leader, Binnie?”

Soobin shrugged, suddenly looking bashful and a little ashamed. Yeonjun waited, knowing he would cave if the silence stretched long enough. 

“You guys deserve a strong leader,” he whispered. “Not someone who has no idea what he’s doing. I’m completely out of my depth here, Yeonjun. Everything I do feels wrong, like at any moment everything could be taken away from us because I made a wrong decision. I’m constantly scared I’m going to mess up and I stay up all night thinking about everything and then I’m tired the next day and—”

“Soobin, all leaders feel that way.”

“Yeah, but you don’t see them crying on camera and then locking themselves in the bathroom,” Soobin pouted.

“Crying is cathartic, Binnie,” Yeonjun argued, “you needed to get all the tension out. Next time just don’t let it all build up like this. If you start feeling upset, find a way to get it out before it explodes.”

“How?” Soobin sniffed.

“Well, what makes you feel better?” he asked. 

“Being at home with my family… and dogs.”

“Something you can have at the dorm, Soobinnie,” Yeonjun reminded him.

“This is nice too, I guess,” Soobin mumbled, tucking his nose more snugly into Yeonjun’s shoulder.

Yeonjun was surprised but didn’t let himself tense up lest it set Soobin off again. Instead he brought up one hand to card gently through the leader’s hair and hummed quietly.

“Alright,” he said softly. “Next time you’re starting to get overwhelmed, come to me and we can cuddle until you’re feeling strong enough to face being the leader again. I’ll pet your hair and talk to you if you want and you can just be Soobin instead of Soobin, leader of TXT. Sound good?”

“Sounds good,” Soobin nodded.

“Alright, well, I promised the maknaes we would watch a movie once you calmed down,” he told the leader. “We should go join them before they let Kai pick a horror movie and he doesn’t sleep for a week.”

Soobin let Yeonjun tug him to his feet and the two of them stood side by side at the sink to wash their faces. Yeonjun kept an eye on him, waiting for the tears to start again but Soobin seemed to finally be feeling a little better so he let himself relax. They themselves up and brushed their teeth before heading to the bedroom to change into nightclothes. They made it to the living room just in time to convince Kai Spiderman 3 would be better than the horror movie Beomgyu had mentioned nonchalantly.

“Sit with me,” Soobin said quietly as Yeonjun looked around for somewhere to get comfortable. 

The younger boys had dragged out blankets and spread them over the floor, curling up around Kai’s laptop to watch the movie. Less concerned with the film, Soobin had chosen a spot closer to the edge of the blankets, behind the others and near the wall. Yeonjun got comfortable against the wall and let Soobin rest his head in his lap, his hand settling into the leader’s soft hair before the opening credits were even over.

Over the course of the movie Yeonjun slumped further over with exhaustion until finally Soobin just dragged him into the floor and tucked himself up against Yeonjun’s front. It was a little awkward with Soobin’s height and he couldn’t see the movie now at all but Yeonjun just stroked his fingers lightly over Soobin’s stomach and let himself drift off to sleep.

If all five of them ended up falling asleep there, no one needed to know.

If Beomgyu happened to wake up first and take pictures of his hyungs before everyone else woke up, only Beomgyu needed to know.


End file.
